'I caught my husband cheating but I've allowed it to continue for one reason'

A woman has been left heartbroken after discovering her husband has been cheating on her, but now she's torn about telling his mistress the truth. She explained how she learnt the truth eight months ago and has been quietly monitoring her husband's text messages ever since.

In this time, she has come to "love" his mistress and feels awful about telling her the truth as it'll shatter her entire world. On Reddit, she said: "My husband is having an affair. I found out eight months ago when a text from 'Henry' said 'love you'. I managed to sync his texts up to our iCloud and have been monitoring them ever since. Even worse, his mistress is also a victim in this.

She has no idea that he’s married. He told her that he’s separated from me, and we’re going through the divorce process.

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"To his credit, he doesn’t bad mouth me as the horrible ex-wife that makes him miserable. He doesn’t talk about me at all.

"I also think that’s because the 'evil ex-wife' is a classic lie from a cheating husband, and she’s smart enough to see through that."

While acknowledging the "wife usually hates the mistress", she says she has a soft spot in her heart for this woman because she has shown nothing but kindness towards her husband.

She added: "I know that usually the wife hates the mistress or at least resents her, but I can’t hate her. I love her so much.

"She has no idea that my husband is a loser, and she’s such a sweetheart who deserves the entire world.

"She sends pictures of the holiday cards that she makes for the people in the local nursing homes 'because the Holidays can be such a lonely time for them'.

"She texts him little love poems. When he’s says that he’s stressed, she asks him how she can help.

"She’s so smart too. Whenever she talks about something that she’s interested in, it’s like a YouTube deep dive, only in text instead.

"My husband loves 'The Deadliest Catch'. She explained to him why the FV Destination sank. It was fascinating.

"She also said how happy she was that the tragedy was taken seriously enough to make stricter rules about safety regulations to keep fishermen safe."

She says her "loser husband" doesn't deserve to have such a kindhearted woman in his life, and while she knows she has to tell her the truth, she dreads even the thought of it.

She added: "I know that I need to confront him, and tell him that I want a divorce. I’ve been putting it off.

"He wouldn’t be man enough to face her, so it would be up to me to break her heart for him by giving her the bad news. I don’t want to be the one who makes her cry.

"I just hope that she knows that even though she lost a cheating boyfriend, she’ll have a friend in me.

"I don’t want her to feel embarrassed or ashamed for something that was done to her and not because of her. That’s what I’m dreading the most about the upcoming s***storm."

Commenting on her post, one user said: "She sounds like a lovely person. That's sort of a catch-22 problem.

"People see the world through their own filters. She is a good person at heart, and so thinks others are, even your slimy husband."

Another user added: "Make sure you have proof that you two are still married and living together. She may go to denial first."